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Endless Longing for More – Suzanne Foxton

Pic Ed Schilling

There is no more point to going to a meeting of friends together, a satsang [or whatever we’re calling it today] than there is of anything else. It is all sound and fury, it all signifies nothing. Sometimes it’s silence and comfort but nothing it still signifies. Perhaps presence with others is desirable, perhaps some mind-quelling understanding or brain-stilling space can be more easily discerned, but that then is the story of desirability or easy discernment or the usefulness of a still, unthinking mind.

Some seekers of truth come away from such meetings concluding that no matter what the speaker says or does, it is pleasant to pass some hours and converse with like-minded friends and acquaintances. The contentedness of the speaker is somehow catching; the fact that whatever is, here, now, this very moment, seems to be more than enough for the speaker rubs off a little, and the seeker feels a little more satisfied with life. Is being satisfied with life the goal? Is there a goal?


As Ravenous Fishes, Do a Vessel Follow that Is New-trimm’d, but Benefit no Further than Vainly Longing…

Maybe there is some spontaneous brain-bending change of perception. Even if there is, when it is no longer, it is only a spark of memory. Whatever form this takes, it is the same essence. Boredom, hatred, love, hope, creation, murder; these are all the faces of the same nothingness that seemingly takes form. Feeling that endless longing for more, going to a meeting with a teacher, writing, blogging, reading, talking, grasping for the ever-elusive understanding of This: it is all This.

Whatever is, is just what it is.

It is as it is; it is as it must be.

10 responses

  1. Alberto Martin

    ‘It’ is as it is, yes. And if there is a note, a feeling of either frustration, resignation, or even despondency in your post, it is also as it is – no regrets, no criticisms.

    However, in this low plane where most of us live and have our being, I would say that there is a goal, a desirable goal, why not?, and that is understanding, deep understanding (of reality).

    “I” would prefer to be happy – with what is true, real, genuine, if that is possible; and experience tells us that it is possible.
    A wise person is passionless and, at the same time, either happy or serene.

    March 27, 2011 at 5:02 pm

  2. “A wise person is passionless, and at the same time, either happy or serene.”

    Happiness is certainly a goal of a sentient life form. Happiness implies health, contentment, needs met, work satisfying, deep and honest relationships, successful socialisation, a lack of guilt because no harm is being committed against fellow creatures or the environment…all things conducive to the continued survival of the species.

    Happiness, as a goal in relative reality, may indeed arise. Happiness as a goal is perhaps more likely to be achieved when outcomes no longer need to be controlled…outcomes that include reaching the goal of happiness, or wisdom, or being passionless, or serenity, or what you will.

    A belief system that proscribes what a wise person is and does, supported (or not) by observation and experience, may indeed arise; so may the belief that “most of us live and have our being” on some “low plane”. This belief may also be supported by the learning and experience of many persons over many centuries. So also may arise the circumstance of preferring to be happy. There is nothing wrong with any of this. It implies a preoccupation with the unfolding, relative reality, but there is nothing wrong with that either. Happiness as a goal? Why not indeed? The goal of happiness and the acceptance of it is just another face of the absolute, another perfect arising, just as is everything else. It is all the same thing.

    March 28, 2011 at 1:54 am

  3. Susan Elkmore

    Suzanne, I’ve been following you for a while on facebook and your blog. Please don’t take this question the wrong way, but… you seem angry. Could you explain why? S.

    March 29, 2011 at 6:40 am

  4. Good and wise observations – agree with it all. Thank you. A.M.

    March 29, 2011 at 9:06 am

  5. Hi Susan,

    Now it’s just that kind of remark that really pisses me off!

    (I deeply apologise for indulging in that extrememly obvious joke.)

    Actually, Susan, your remark is surprising because anger hardly ever arises here. Anger comes about because of expectations not met, or boundaries being crossed (boundaries being another expectation). For me – the character Suzanne – mild anger sometimes arises if the kids have left a sea of clothing on their floor or the hubbie has forgotten yet another calendar item. Just a little anger, arising quickly, dispersing even more quickly…probably because there doesn’t seem to be much of an identity that needs reinforcing by my family members doing as I ask them, and a lack of immovable expectations. A thousand sitcom writers have already picked up on the fact that these day-to-day domestic foibles are the stuff of humour, so amusement also arises, seemingly replacing the anger.

    However, your comment is also fascinating. It makes me wonder what it is you’ve picked up on in my writing and remarks that brings you to the conclusion that I’m angry. Honestly noticing the arising emotions and thoughts here, anger is rare indeed…so I surmise you are, perhaps, projecting anger onto what you read. Ask yourself: What is it that makes me think Suzanne is angry? Is it that you identify with my character, have similar life circumstances, and feel anger yourself? Is it that a flippant attitude toward non-duality violates something you feel is sacred? I’m only speculating. It couldn’t possibly hurt to be specific about what it is that brings you to the conclusion of anger, and search your own thoughts/feelings/actions/circumstances. What we feel about “others” is often revealing of “ourselves”.

    Then again, if I was angry, that’s what would be arising and there’s nothing wrong with anger per se.

    A lot of love, happiness, contentment, curiosity, enthusiasm and acceptance seems to be what arises here…and I feel privileged, as well, in the life I apparently lead in relative reality. This I wish for you and everyone Susan.

    Love, Suzanne

    March 30, 2011 at 4:06 am

    • Susan Elkmore

      Dear Suzanne

      Thankyou for your kind and enlightening answer. I don’t know what it is I pick up in your writing – I sensed the ‘anger’ thing mainly from your Conscious TV video interview which I otherwise enjoyed. Of course, I could be wrong about all of this. Perhaps I find that it’s your need to be ironic about absolutely everything. I find that ironic detachment is often a cover-up for something else. I have met a lot of other nonduality teachers/anti-teachers who say the same thing as you, who on the surface look happy and free on the surface but when you see them in person they obviously have deep psychological issues they aren’t dealing with (nobody to have issues, right? Oh give me a break!) Anyway, I could be completely wrong about you and I apologise for speaking out of turn. Love!


      March 31, 2011 at 3:46 am

      • Hiya Susan,

        I don’t think there is way you can speak out of turn, or get it “wrong”.

        In the story that seems to unfold, I’ve stripped the veils, faced the issues, and disempowered them as well as can be done with the tools at hand…and it seems to have “worked”.

        Irony, not necessarily about absolutely everything, probably arises because I’m an American living amongst the English who seem to think Americans don’t understand irony! Gotta set ’em straight. But perhaps it’s that thing of seeing someone treat lightly that which is deathly serious. I’ve been to all those dark places, and found my way out again…it’s very difficult to take anything too seriously anymore, which was what was keeping me in the dark places. Thus, irony. However, I’m also quite capable of taking someone’s pain very seriously indeed, and taking time and making efforts to help ameliorate that pain.

        Love, Suzanne

        Love, Suzanne

        March 31, 2011 at 11:26 pm

  6. Rieka

    Hello, What a beautiful conversation, was lovely to read. I absolutely love to listen and read the way you speak Suzanne, must admit i dont always understand the poetic words and meaning of words in your blog entrys, but its always an alive presentation and when I do understand it touches deep. I loved your conscious tv interveiw, you seemed so uniquley and sweetly ordinary back then (and still do).It was after watching your interveiw and others that when I got up to make a cuppa it felt as though a heavy coat had slipped off my shoulders and my natural self was all that remained (the clear seeing seems to have come n gone many a time since then and ive found releif in your words, many experiences being similar and the way in which youve expressed it in writing).
    I remember feeling very relaxed and ordinary almost every time I watched an interveiw with you in it, I was facinated by how ordinary you seemed to meand how rested it made me feel. I also watched many other vids and got a fair bit obsessed with the whole thing, but it was a releif to see you as a woman who didnt proclaim to be anyone in particular (what a releif!), who had 3 kids like myself and also had a partner who had not much of an idea (or interest)as to what i was on about most of the time when it came to this subject.Anyway thankyou for your contributions to this.
    BTW, some of the photoes and pictures on your blog page would be great as wall art, very colouful,interesting and unique, I would love some on my wall. xx
    Love, Rieka

    April 15, 2011 at 9:04 am

    • Hi Rieka, thanks for all the lovely words, and even if the burden slips back onto your shoulders there’s nothing wrong with that.

      May 1, 2011 at 3:56 am

  7. Dylon

    My goodness, this was an immensely enjoyable read. Thank you all.

    September 5, 2011 at 10:26 am

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