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The Modern Seeker & Choice Paralysis [Random Viewpoints]

by Anonymous

Now - Article NDA

Seeking is supposed to clear things up for the mind.  But it sure can be confusing to step into the world of spirituality or therapy when so many terms are tossed about. Terms such as: coaching, therapy, psychotherapy, psychology, inquiry, teaching, guiding, facilitating, focusing, unfocusing, nonduality, mindfulness, realization, awareness, emptiness.  The list is almost endless (see below for even more examples).

The terms bleed into one another where the lines of division between the concepts start to seem blurry.  There are even more hybrids such as: “therapy with a nondual component,” “inquiry with a psychoanalytical element,” “Nonduality that doesn’t negate duality” and “waking up and down.”

*All of the following listings were all on one site …(no disrespect to said site; we know it was done in an attempt to organize all these [contemporary] offerings. But it really is crazy though (when looked at from a seeker/potential client or basic readers view):

Professional Service Coaching
Private Work
Focusing Sessions
Individual Sessions
Individual Coaching
Private Sessions
Work With Individuals


Nondual Coaching
Nondual Coaching Sessions
Nondual and Transpersonal Psychotherapy
Nondual Psychotherapy
Non Dual Coach Memoir & Transformational Writing Teacher & Coach
Nondual Transformation Coaching
Nondual Dialogue
Nondual Dialogues
Nondual Dialogues “Nothing to Know. Nothing to Do”
Nondual Inquiry
Nondual Supervision


Nondual Therapy
Nondual Therapy (with individuals or couples)
Nondual Therapy and Dream Work
Authenticity Mentoring
Authentic Leadership
Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR)
Realization Process
Result Level Teaching
Meditation Coaching


Complete Psychotherapy
Archetypal Psychotherapy: Archetypal, Integral, Body Centered and NonDual
Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples
Outpatient Practice
Coaching & Mentoring For Couples: Awakening the Intelligence of the Heart Personal Coaching
Archetypal Shadow Work: Integrating shadow aspects with spiritual discoverers
Somatic Experiencing
Trauma Therapy
Transpersonal-Buddhist-Nondual Based Work with Individuals and Couples at Opening To Life

What do any of these terms really mean?  

Is Webster’s the answer?  

Or maybe Wikipedia?  

The internet has brought so much online that terms start having less objective meanings.  They become more about how one chooses to define a term subjectively.  And maybe that is OK!  Maybe that’s exactly what the doctor ordered for our postmodern culture.  Maybe what awakening (yup, another term!) shows us more and more is that words are not fixed targets.  Their definitions are constantly changing and being redefined as the world grows larger while our internet lives become even more connected and, therefore, perhaps smaller.

Maybe the answer is to peruse this vast field of spirituality/therapy like one peruses a smorgasbord, reading the names of the flavors or even having a little taste here and there until something resonates or hits the spot.  And then one can dive deeper into that term or the teaching or method that uses it.

Animation by Nikita Wibisono

Maybe all of this ends up being like choice paralysis or maybe it is just more freedom of choice in a world that is becoming empty of inherent meaning.  Maybe we are able to shape our therapies or spirituality in a way that works for us individually, as we throw dogma and old languages out the window or begin reinventing or redeveloping them. Maybe the blurred lines between concepts are starting to show us that they are all just concepts.  Perhaps whatever is truly happening ought to be left to the reader, or the seeker.

After all, isn’t that what seeking is—isn’t it the search for something that will satisfy or will end the seeking altogether…  What do you think?

9 responses

  1. Interesting indeed.

    In the end, as we peruse and search, perhaps there is a chance the mind will begin to quiet, realizing that very little about our reality is objective anymore and that there is less and less to grasp or understand as we search for what we ‘really are.’

    September 27, 2015 at 10:27 pm

  2. This is it, we end up in a ‘choice paralysis’ and marketeers develop products that’ll encourage the seeking to continue. I’ve spent some years considering this and getting quite lost in it of course, but there are times when I see clearly the way to ‘find’ that which will satisfy or end the seeking altogether has something to do with seeing the seeking mind… a quiet awareness of that

    September 27, 2015 at 11:20 pm

    • Yes Tiramit,

      The spiritual marketplace is vast!

      “A quiet AWARENESS”…I like that.

      October 1, 2015 at 8:51 pm

  3. Mischa

    SO glad you are back at adding more stuff to this site! Missed you! All is well. =)

    September 28, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    • Thank you Mischa.

      More content coming soon.

      *I have less time as I am the primary caregiver of two stroke patients (my parents).

      Much Love!

      September 28, 2015 at 1:55 pm

  4. Love this post! I see more that choice paralysis happening out there. All the information and options can really create anxiety. We end up flitting from one place to next never really landing anywhere … and worrying if we are in the right place or if the next choice will be a better one. It takes us away from the present and what we are seeking. How ironic.

    September 30, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    • Hi Val,

      Ironic for sure. Thank you for your comment and reading NDA Online.

      October 1, 2015 at 8:52 pm

  5. “Seeking” never clears things up for the mind. The mind by nature swims in binary contexts: an “up” is balanced by a “down”; an “inside” is juxtaposed by an “outside”; a “me” is objectified by object; other, world and you.

    “Seeking” never leads to Who You Are, because Who You Are is not something that can be found; the caveat being that it might take a little “seeking” before for you realize this; before (you) exhaust the tendency to seek and realize IT is not something (you) need to understand or become, find or lose, fix, gain or achieve.

    It’s thought that “seeks”, and until (you) exhaust or appear to let it go of this tendency – (you) will never find out Who You Are. As long as (you) are referring, deferring and depending on the mind – as thought, thinking or thinker to clear things up, (you) will seek. Seeking distracts, distorts and disturbs attention, it creates “choice paralysis”. As such, choice paralysis is for thought – not for You as Awareness.

    Thought, thinking and the thinker or any of their products, can never satisfy the longing (we) feel inside, because the longing itself is the inherent, intuitive Knowing, that thought can only ever represent a metaphoric ideal of Who and What We Are; thought or any of its bi-products will never replace Who We Are.

    Likewise, thinking and all the products of thinking: philosophies, knowledge and the understanding of that knowledge, will never pacify the longing, because the longing represents the abandonment stance (we) appear to be taking to replace Who We Are – with thinking. The thinker – the one who thinks it exists, also, can never provide the salvation it so desperately seeks, because the thinker cannot see things as they are and salvation IS to see things As They Are. Thought, thinking and thinker are not IT- You Are IT.

    The essence of Non duality is not a way of thinking – but a way of Being, it cannot be learned – because it is not something that can be taught – it’s Who You Are. Our desperate need to clarify, understand or experience our Essential Nature through thought, thinking, thinker and the language it spawns, reflects the degree to which we refer/defer and depend upon thought or language to define our Sense of Self; Who We Are cannot be defined by thought, thinking or thinker – or the language it spawns.

    Said differently, if “I” was not so addicted to thought and language to define myself and the identity “I” imagine myself to be, I would not have the such a desperate need to refer, defer and depend upon thought and language to define the Self that I already/always Am.
    Let’s face it; non duality is both seductive and sexy; in an attempt to remain relevant, many alternative therapies are attempting to integrate non-dual understanding into systems and methods that are based on beliefs and premature commitments to thought, thinking and the so-called thinker and have nothing to do Who You Are. This attempt to get on the band wagon, however well-intentioned is only a representation, a frame of reference – where there are no references that need to be framed.

    Thought apparently leads to understanding; understanding apparently leads to experience; experience attempts to lead us to action and action hopes for results and the vicious cycle or “I”, “me”, “mine”, “others”, “world” that is the heart of all suffering.

    The hidden “Why” of life is generated by thought, it’s a call for justification; it’s a call for understanding from the level of thought – the birthplace of all therapies, religions and philosophies. Where Awareness Is Aware, there is no need for therapy, religion or philosophy; where Awareness is Aware, system, method and practice collapse back into themselves and the seeking gives way to the peace of Now; practice gives way to Perfection of Here, and system gives way to the way of Being.

    It does not really matter what all these terms mean or whether they temporarily lead or distract us from the deeper truths of Knowing. The gift lies in what’s already been given; it waits patiently – unconditionally, for one fine morning where we take pause to rest and reflect in the quiet, non-verbal cushion of our own Essential Nature.

    September 30, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    • Hi Michael,

      Thank you for your in-depth reply.

      Spot on!

      re: “Let’s face it; non duality is both seductive and sexy”

      I agree.

      October 1, 2015 at 8:55 pm

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