by Stephen Williamson
I was a spiritual seeker who came across non duality. Reading the books and listening to speakers on non duality, it seemed that in all the speakers and authors there was a revolutionary moment when they ‘got it’, when non duality ceased to be an intellectual theory and became a reality.
Then one day I too ‘got it’. There was no self, no separateness, no doer. My state was recognized by one of the leading speakers on non duality in the UK. I had joined the elite few who no longer sought awakening, but were actually awake! I felt important.
As I adjusted to my new state I began to observe in myself and others an inconsistency. I got to know many non duality speakers. Whilst some of these speakers claimed to come from a space of no self, their actions seemed to come from the self. Character traits of self-importance, ambition and indignation, usually associated with the ego, were seen. This indicated a lack of freedom rather than the liberation they talked about when speaking. If I challenged this, I was told that importance appears, ambition appears, but it has been experienced by no one because there is no one, the self does not exist.
I was not too sure about this. All I could do was investigate and reflect on my own experience. I came across writings on Tibetan Buddhism where non duality is regarded as a stage along the way to full enlightenment. This resonated with me. I had previously thought that non duality was “the end of the spiritual journey“. It was the top of the spiritual mountain. No where else to go.