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Top 10 Nondual Search Phrases for 2014 (Our First Ever Year End List)

Everyone loves to write | read and post their favorite year-end lists online it seems. And rightfully so – many are highly entertaining.

Countless bloggers and writers experience mucho stress and agonize over said lists.

Since we’ve never created one, we thought we would do something a little different.

We never set out to make NDA a household name and or personal brand, so needless-to-say, we don’t fret over stats, SEO, Google Analytics and the like when it comes to data about the blog | website | portal etc.

*I did have to chuckle though when I read some of these random search terms and phrases that WordPress said site visitors used to find our site (out of over 30K other terms mind you).

Without further ado, please n-joy our first ever…

 

2014 TOP TEN LIST

[OF Our MOST ‘INTERESTING’ KEYWORD SEARCHES]

 

*in no particular order

 

sleeping cat

1.) “Proof of sleep in nonduality”

 


 

Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

2.) “Vocal range of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan


funny face
3.) “Non-Duality cartoons


dr.-suess-motivational-quote

4.) “Living a fake life


jeff_home

5.) “Jeff Foster vegetarian”


EL

6.) “Espresso love”


Rupert and Ellen
7.) “Is Rupert Spira married”


BM
8.) “When was Bentinho Massaro born”


fairy-tale-hand-paintings
9.) “Fairy tale paintings


Last but not least – the [imaginary] book everyone thinks I wrote:

nonduality-for-dummies-matthew-king
10.) “Non-Duality for Dummies”

 

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*We went ahead and tagged this post with the keywords listed above (if there are still ‘inquiring’ minds searching for this info).

Happy Holidays and thank you ALL for your continued support over the years and we’d like to welcome all the many new subscribers, Tweeps and worldwide readership (all 160+ countries who’ve visited).

In case you’re wondering: There was no stress or agony experienced while putting this post together. LOL

Always Already – Ken Wilber [Random Viewpoints]

Upon arrival, I swelled up in [almost] instant disappointment after learning that my chiropractor appointment was actually next Thursday (I drove almost an hour in fog/rain conditions mind you…ugh). Subsequently I politely excused myself and went to the restroom. I decided to ask the person at the counter if they could possibly accommodate my mistake given the pain I was ‘experiencing’ and since I was already ‘there.’ They said they would try but it was unlikely so late in the day. So I took a seat and found out that there were several other walk-ins that day who were turned away. I decided to park it and take my chances and see what would unfold – if anything.

A few minutes later I was informed that it would be over an hour wait (possibly longer) but they would in fact work me in. I said OK, though she look bewildered that I was actually going to stick it out for that long and or like that was unfathomable in today’s rush-rush society. I thought to myself, now what am I going to do for the next hour [haha] in a nearly jam-packed doctors office at closing time? Out comes the Kindle and the first thing I selected was what you are about to read.

This was the very first time I ever read these words – although miraculously I discovered that someone sent me a .pdf document of this almost two years ago. For two years this sat quietly  in my documents folder on my trusty little Kindle Fire reader.

*It really hit home – especially the body-mind section(s) as I was essentially there for help with my ‘body.’

N-joy!

~CMK

 

 

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The Brilliant Clarity of Ever-Present Awareness

In this excerpt from The Eye of Spirit, Ken offers a most powerful—and beautiful—piece of spiritual writing.

Here’s Ken’s description:

Ken Wilber BIO pic“What follows are various ‘pointing out’ instructions, direct pointers to mind’s essential nature or intrinsic Spirit. Traditionally this involves a great deal of intentional repetition. If you read this material in the normal manner, you might find the repetitions tedious and perhaps irritating. If you would like the rest of this particular section to work for you, please read it in a slow and leisurely manner, letting the words and the repetitions sink in. You can also use these sections as material for meditation, using no more than one or two paragraphs—or even one or two sentences—for each session.”

 

Where are we to locate Spirit?

What are we actually allowed to acknowledge as Sacred?

Where exactly is the Ground of Being?

Where is this ultimate Divine?

 

The Great Search

The Realization of the Nondual traditions is uncompromising: there is only Spirit, there is only God, there is only Emptiness in all its radiant wonder. All the good and all the evil, the very best and the very worst, the upright and the degenerate-each and all are radically perfect manifestations of Spirit precisely as they are. There is nothing but God, nothing but the Goddess, nothing but Spirit in all directions, and not a grain of sand, not a speck of dust, is more or less Spirit than any other.

This realization undoes the Great Search that is the heart of the separate-self sense. The separate-self is, at bottom, simply a sensation of seeking. When you feel yourself right now, you will basically feel a tiny interior tension or contraction—a sensation of grasping, desiring, wishing, wanting, avoiding, resisting-it is a sensation of effort, a sensation of seeking.

In its highest form, this sensation of seeking takes on the form of the Great Search for Spirit. We wish to get from our unenlightened state (of sin or delusion or duality) to an enlightened or more spiritual state. We wish to get from where Spirit is not, to where Spirit is.

But there is no place where Spirit is not. Every single location in the entire Kosmos is equally and fully Spirit. Seeking of any sort, movement of any sort, attainment of any sort: all profoundly useless. The Great Search simply reinforces the mistaken assumption that there is some’ place that Spirit is not, and that I need to get from a space that is lacking to a space that is full. But there is no space lacking, and there is no space more full. There is only Spirit.

The Great Search for Spirit is simply that impulse, the final impulse, which prevents the present realization of Spirit, and it does so for a simple reason: the Great Search presumes the loss of God. The Great Search reinforces the mistaken belief that God is not present, and thus totally obscures the ‘reality of God’s ever-present Presence. The Great Search, which pretends to love God, is in fact the very mechanism of pushing God away; the mechanism of promising to find tomorrow that which exists only in the timeless now; the mechanism of watching the future so fervently that the present always passes it by—very quickly and God’s smiling face with it.

The Great Search is the loveless contraction hidden in the heart of the separate-self sense, a contraction that drives the intense yearning for a tomorrow in which salvation will finally arrive, but during which time, thank God, I can continue to be myself. The greater the Great Search, the more I can deny God. The greater the Great Search, the more I can feel my own sensation of seeking, which defines the contours of my self. The Great Search is the great enemy of what is.

Should we then simply cease the Great Search? Definitely, if we could. But the effort to stop the Great Search is itself more of the Great Search. The very first step presumes and reinforces the seeking sensation. There is actually nothing the self-contraction can do to stop the Great Search, because the self-contraction and the Great Search are two names for the same thing.

If Spirit cannot be found as a future product of the Great Search, then there is only one alternative: Spirit must be fully, totally, completely present right now—AND you must be fully, totally, completely aware of it right now. It will not do to say that Spirit is present but I don’t realize it. That would require the Great Search; that would demand that I seek a tomorrow in which I could realize that Spirit is fully present, but such seeking misses the present in the very first step. To keep seeking would be to keep missing. No, the realization itself, the awareness itself: this, too, must somehow be fully and completely present right now. If it is not, then all we have left is the Great Search, doomed to presume that which it wishes to overcome.

There must be something about our present awareness that contains the entire truth. Somehow, no matter what your state, you are immersed fully in everything you need for perfect enlightenment. You are somehow looking right at the answer. One hundred percent of Spirit is in your perception right now. Not 20 percent, not 50 percent, not 99 percent, but literally 100 percent of Spirit is in your awareness right now—and the trick, as it were, is to recognize this ever-present state of affairs, and not to engineer a future state in which Spirit will announce itself.

And this simple recognition of an already present Spirit is the task, as it were, of the great Nondual traditions.

 

 

Thor—Thursday

By Sarah Jansen

 

To Meet the Kosmos

Many people have stern objections to “mysticism” or “transcendentalism” of any sort, because they think it somehow denies this world, or hates this earth, or despises the body and the senses and its vital life, and so on. While that may be true of certain dissociated (or merely Ascending) approaches, it is certainly not the core understanding of the great Nondual mystics, from Plotinus and Eckhart in the West to Nagarjuna and Lady Tsogyal in the East.

Rather, these sages universally maintain that absolute reality and the relative world are “not-two” (which is the meaning of “nondual”), much as a mirror and its reflections are not separate, or an ocean is one with its many waves. So the “other world” of Spirit and “this world” of separate phenomena are deeply and profoundly “not-two,” and this nonduality is a direct and immediate realization which occurs in certain meditative states—in other words, seen with the eye of contemplation—although it then becomes a very simple, very ordinary perception, whether you are meditating or not. Every single thing you perceive is the radiance of Spirit itself, so much so that Spirit is not seen apart from that thing: the robin sings, and just that is it, nothing else. This becomes your constant realization, through all changes of state, very naturally, just so. And this releases you from the basic insanity of hiding from the Real.

But why is it, then, that we ordinarily don’t have that perception?

All the great Nondual wisdom traditions have given a fairly similar answer to that question. We don’t see that Spirit is fully and completely present right here, right now, because our awareness is clouded with some form of avoidance. We do not want to be choicelessly aware of the present; rather, we want to run away from it, or run after it, or we want to change it, alter it; hate it, love it, loathe it, or in some way agitate to get ourselves into, or out of, it. We will do anything except come to rest in the pure Presence of the present. We will not rest with pure Presence; we want to be elsewhere, quickly. The Great Search is the game, in its endless forms.

In nondual meditation or contemplation, the agitation of the separate-self sense profoundly relaxes, and the self uncoils in the vast expanse of all space. At that point, it becomes obvious that you are not “in here” looking at the world “out there,” because that duality has simply collapsed into pure Presence and spontaneous luminosity.

This realization may take many forms. A simple one is something like this: You might be looking at a mountain, and you have relaxed into the effortlessness of your own present awareness, and then suddenly the mountain is all, you are nothing. Your separate-self sense is suddenly and totally gone, and there is simply everything that is arising moment to moment. You are perfectly aware, perfectly conscious, everything seems completely normal, except you are nowhere to be found. You are not on this side of your face looking at the mountain out there; you simply are the mountain, you are the sky, you are the clouds, you are everything that is arising moment to moment, very simply, very clearly, just so.

We know all the fancy names for this state, from unity consciousness to sahaj samadhi. But it really is the simplest and most obvious state you will ever realize. Moreover, once you glimpse that state—what the Buddhists call One Taste (because you and the entire universe are one taste or one experience)—it becomes obvious that you are not entering this state, but rather, it is a state that, in some profound and mysterious way, has been your primordial condition from time immemorial. You have, in fact, never left this state for a second.

This is why Zen calls it the Gateless Gate: on this side of that realization, it looks like you have to do something to enter that state—it looks like you need to pass through a gate. But when you do so, and you turn around and look back, there is no gate whatsoever, and never has been. You have never left this state in the first place, so obviously you can’t enter it. The gateless gate! “Every form is Emptiness just as it is,” means that all things, including you and me, are always already on the other side of the gateless gate.

But if that is so, then why even do spiritual practice? Isn’t that just another form of the Great Search? Yes, actually, spiritual practice is a form of the Great Search, and as such, it is destined to fail. But that is exactly the point. You and I are already convinced that there are things that we need to do in order to realize Spirit. We feel that there are places that Spirit is not (namely, in me), and we are going to correct this state of affairs. Thus, we are already committed to the Great Search, and so nondual meditation makes use of that fact and engages us in the Great Search in a particular and somewhat sneaky fashion (which Zen calls “selling water by the river”).

William Blake said that “a fool who persists in his folly will become wise.” So nondual meditation simply speeds up the folly. If you really think you lack Spirit, then try this folly: try to become Spirit, try to discover Spirit, try to contact Spirit, try to reach Spirit: meditate and meditate and meditate in order to get Spirit!

But of course, you see, you cannot really do this. You cannot reach Spirit any more than you can reach your feet. You always already are Spirit, you are not going to reach it in any sort of temporal thrashing around. But if this is not obvious, then try it. Nondual meditation is a serious effort to do the impossible, until you become utterly exhausted of the Great Search, sit down completely worn out, and notice your feet.

It’s not that these nondual traditions deny higher states; they don’t. They have many, many practices that help individuals reach specific states of postformal consciousness. These include states of transcendental bliss, love, and compassion; of heightened cognition and extrasensory perception; of Deity consciousness and contemplative prayer. But they maintain that those altered states—which have a beginning and an end in time—ultimately have nothing to do with the timeless. The real aim is the stateless, not a perpetual fascination with changes of state. And that stateless condition is the true nature of this and every conceivable state of consciousness, so any state you have will do just fine. Change of state is not the ultimate point; recognizing the Changeless is the point, recognizing primordial Emptiness is the point, recognizing unqualifiable Godhead is the point, recognizing pure Spirit is the point, and if you are breathing and vaguely awake, that state of consciousness will do just fine.

Nonetheless, traditionally, in order to demonstrate your sincerity, you must complete a good number of preliminary practices, including a mastery of various states of meditative consciousness, summating in a stable post-postconventional adaptation, all of which is well and good. But none of those states of consciousness are held to be final or ultimate or privileged. And changing states is not the goal at all. Rather, it is precisely by entering and leaving these various meditative states that you begin to understand that none of them constitute enlightenment. All of them have a beginning in time, and thus none of them are the timeless. The point is to realize that change of state is not the point, and that realization can occur in any state of consciousness whatsoever.

 

Ever-Present Awareness

fertility

Pic Android Jones

This primordial recognition of One Taste—not the creation but the recognition of the fact that you and the Kosmos are One Spirit, One Taste, One Gesture—is the great gift of the Nondual traditions. And in simplified form, this recognition goes like this:

(What follows are various “pointing out” instructions, direct pointers to mind’s essential nature or intrinsic Spirit. Traditionally this involves a great deal of intentional repetition. If you read this material in the normal manner, you might find the repetitions tedious and perhaps irritating. If you would like the rest of this particular section to work for you, please read it in a slow and leisurely manner, letting the words and the repetitions sink in. You can also use these sections as material for meditation, using no more than one or two paragraphs—or even one or two sentences—for each session.)

We begin with the realization that the pure Self or transpersonal Witness is an ever-present consciousness, even when we doubt its existence. You are right now aware of, say, this book, the room, a window, the sky, the clouds…. You can sit back and simply notice that you are aware of all those objects floating by. Clouds float through the sky, thoughts float through the mind, and when you notice them, you are effortlessly aware of them. There is a simple, effortless, spontaneous witnessing of whatever happens to be present.

In that simple witnessing awareness, you might notice: I am aware of my body, and therefore I am not just my body. I am aware of my mind, and therefore I am not just my mind. I am aware of my self, and therefore I am not just that self. Rather, I seem somehow to be the Witness of my body, my mind, my self.

This is truly fascinating. I can see my thoughts, so I am not those thoughts. I am aware of bodily sensations, so I am not those sensations. I am aware of my emotions, so I am not merely those emotions. I am somehow the Witness of all of that!

But what is this Witness itself? Who or What is it that witnesses all of these objects, that watches the clouds float by, and thoughts float by, and objects float by? Who or What is this true Seer, this pure Witness, which is at the very core of what I am?

That simple witnessing awareness, the traditions maintain, is Spirit itself, is the enlightened mind itself, is Buddha-nature itself, is God itself, in its entirety.

Thus, according to the traditions, getting in touch with Spirit or God or the enlightened mind is not something difficult to achieve. It is your own simple witnessing awareness in exactly this moment. If you see this page, you already have that awareness–all of it—right now.

A very famous text from Dzogchen or Maha-Ati Buddhism (one of the very greatest of the Nondual traditions) puts it like this: “At times it happens that some meditators say that it is difficult to recognize the nature of the mind”—in Dzogchen, “the nature of the mind” means primordial Purity or radical Emptiness—it means nondual Spirit by whatever name. The point is that this “nature of the mind” is ever-present witnessing awareness, and some meditators, the text says, find this hard to believe. They imagine it is difficult or even impossible to recognize this ever-present awareness, and that they have to work very hard and meditate very long in order to attain this enlightened mind—whereas it is simply their own ever-present witnessing awareness, fully functioning right now.

The text continues: “Some male or female practitioners believe it to be impossible to recognize the nature of mind. They become depressed with tears streaming down their cheeks. There is no reason at all to become sad. It is not at all impossible to recognize. Rest directly in that which thinks that it is impossible to recognize the nature of the mind, and that is exactly it.”

As for this ever-present witnessing awareness being hard to contact: “There are some meditators who don’t let their mind rest in itself [simple present awareness], as they should. Instead they let it watch outwardly or search inwardly. You will neither see nor find [Spirit] by watching outwardly or searching inwardly. There is no reason whatsoever to watch outwardly or search inwardly. Let go directly into this mind that is watching outwardly or searching inwardly, and that is exactly it.”

We are aware of this room; just that is it, just that awareness is ever-present Spirit. We are aware of the clouds floating by in the sky; just that is it, just that awareness is ever-present Spirit. We are aware of thoughts floating by in the mind; just that is it, just that awareness is ever-present Spirit. We are aware of pain, turmoil, terror, fear; just that is it.

In other words, the ultimate reality is not something seen, but rather the ever-present Seer. Things that are seen come and go, are happy or sad, pleasant or painful—but the Seer is none of those things, and it does not come and go. The Witness does not waver, does not wobble, does not enter that stream of time. The Witness is not an object, not a thing seen, but the ever-present Seer of all things, the simple Witness that is the I of Spirit, the center of the cyclone, the opening that is God, the clearing that is pure Emptiness.

There is never a time that you do not have access to this Witnessing awareness. At every single moment, there is a spontaneous awareness of whatever happens to be present—and that simple, spontaneous, effortless awareness is ever-present Spirit itself. Even if you think you don’t see it, that very awareness is it. And thus, the ultimate state of consciousness—intrinsic Spirit itself—is not hard to reach but impossible to avoid.

And just that is the great and guarded secret of the Nondual schools. It does not matter what objects or contents are present; whatever arises is fine. People sometimes have a hard time understanding Spirit because they try to see it as an object of awareness or an object of comprehension. But the ultimate reality is not anything seen, it is the Seer. Spirit is not an object; it is radical, ever-present Subject, and thus it is not something that is going to jump out in front of you like a rock, an image, an idea, a light, a feeling, an insight, a luminous cloud, an intense vision, or a sensation of great bliss. Those are all nice, but they are all objects, which is what Spirit is not.

Thus, as you rest in the Witness, you won’t see anything in particular. The true Seer is nothing that can be seen, so you simply begin by disidentifying with any and all objects:

I am aware of sensations in my body; those are objects, I am not those. I am aware of thoughts in my mind; those are objects, I am not those. I am aware of my self in this moment, but that is just another object, and I am not that.

Sights float by in nature, thoughts float by in the mind, feelings float by in the body, and I am none of those. I am not an object. I am the pure Witness of all those objects. I am Consciousness as such.

And so, as you rest in the pure Witness, you won’t see anything particular—whatever you see is fine. Rather, as you rest in the radical subject or Witness, as you stop identifying with objects, you will simply begin to notice a sense of vast Freedom. This Freedom is not something you will see; it is something you are. When you are the Witness of thoughts, you are not bound by thoughts. When you are the Witness of feelings, you are not bound by feelings. In place of your contracted self there is simply a vast sense of  Openness and Release. As an object, you are bound; as the Witness, you are Free.

We will not see this Freedom, we will rest in it. A vast ocean of infinite ease.

And so we rest in this state of the pure and simple Witness, the true Seer, which is vast Emptiness and pure Freedom, and we allow whatever is seen to arise as it wishes. Spirit is in the Free and Empty Seer, not in the limited, bound, mortal, and finite objects that parade by in the world of time. And so we rest in this vast Emptiness and Freedom, in which all things arise.

We do not reach or contact this pure Witnessing awareness. It is not possible to contact that which we have never lost. Rather, we rest in this easy, clear, ever-present awareness by simply noticing what is already happening. We already see the sky. We already hear the birds singing. We already feel the cool breeze. The simple Witness is already present, already functioning, already the case. That is why we do not contact or bring this Witness into being, but simply notice that it is always already present, as the simple and spontaneous awareness of whatever is happening in this moment.

We also notice that this simple, ever-present Witness is completely effortless. It takes no effort whatsoever to hear sounds, to see sights, to feel the cool breeze: it is already happening, and we easily rest in that effortless witnessing. We do not follow those objects, nor avoid them. Precisely because Spirit is the ever-present Seer, and not any limited thing that is seen, we can allow all seen things to come and go exactly as they please. “The perfect person employs the mind as a mirror,” says Chuang Tzu. “It neither grasps nor rejects; it receives, but does not keep.” The mirror effortlessly receives its reflections, just as you effortlessly see the sky right now, and just as the Witness effortlessly allows all objects whatsoever to arise. All things come and go in the effortless mirror-mind that is the simple Witness.

When I rest as the pure and simple Witness, I notice that I am not caught in the world of time. The Witness exists only in the timeless present. Yet again, this is not a state that is difficult to achieve but impossible to avoid. The Witness sees only the timeless present because only the timeless present is actually real. When I think of the past, those past thoughts exist right now, in this present. When I think of the future, those future thoughts exist right now, in this present. Past and future thoughts both arise right now, in simple ever-present awareness.

And when the past actually occurred, it occurred right now. When the future actually occurs, it will occur right now. There is only right now, there is only this ever-present present: that is all I ever directly know. Thus, the timeless present is not hard to contact but impossible to avoid, and this becomes obvious when I rest as the pure and simple Witness, and watch the past and future float by in simple ever-present awareness.

That is why when we rest as the ever-present Witness, we are not in time. Resting in simple witnessing awareness, I notice that time floats by in front of me, or through me, like clouds float through the sky. And that is exactly why I can be aware of time; in my simple Presentness, in my I AMness as pure and simple Witness of the Kosmos, I am timeless.

Thus, as I right now rest in this simple, ever-present Witness, I am face to face with Spirit. I am with God today, and always, in this simple, ever-present, witnessing state. Eckhart said that “God is closer to me than I am to myself,” because both God and I are one in the ever-present Witness, which is the nature of intrinsic Spirit itself, which is exactly what I am in the state of my I AMness. I am not this, I am not that; I rest as pure open Spirit. When I am not an object, I am God. (And every I in the entire Kosmos can say that truthfully.)

I am not entering this state of the ever-present Witness, which is Spirit itself. I cannot enter this state, precisely because it is ever-present. I cannot start Witnessing; I can only notice that this simple Witnessing is already occurring. This state never has a beginning in time precisely because it is indeed ever-present. You can neither run from it nor toward it; you are it, always. This is exactly why Buddhas have never entered this state, and sentient beings have never left it.

When I rest in the simple, clear, ever-present Witness, I am resting in the great Unborn, I am resting in intrinsic Spirit, I am resting in primordial Emptiness, I am resting in infinite Freedom. I cannot be seen, I have no qualities at all. I am not this, I am not that. I am not an object. I am neither light nor dark; neither large nor small; neither here nor there; I have no color, no location, no space and no time; I am an utter Emptiness, another word for infinite Freedom, unbounded to infinity. I am that opening or clearing in which the entire manifest world arises right now, but I do not arise in it—it arises in me, in this vast Emptiness and Freedom that I am.

Things that are seen are pleasant or painful, happy or sad, joyous or fearful, healthy or sick—but the Seer of those things is neither happy nor sad, neither joyous nor fearful, neither healthy nor sick, but simply Free. As pure and simple Witness I am free of all objects, free of all subjects, free of all time and free of all space; free of birth and free of death, and free of all things in between. I am simply Free.

When I rest as the timeless Witness, the Great Search is undone. The Great Search is the enemy of the ever-present Spirit, a brutal lie in the face of a gentle infinity. The Great Search is the search for an ultimate experience, a fabulous vision, a paradise of pleasure, an unendingly good time, a powerful insight—a search for God, a search for Goddess, a search for Spirit—but Spirit is not an object. Spirit cannot be grasped or reached or sought or seen: it is the ever-present Seer. To search for the Seer is to miss the point. To search forever is to miss the point forever. How could you possibly search for that which is right now aware of this page? YOU ARE THAT! You cannot go out looking for that which is the Looker.

When I am not an object, I am God. When I seek an object, I cease to be God, and that catastrophe can never be corrected by more searching for more objects.

Rather, I can only rest as the Witness, which is already free of objects, free of time, free of suffering, and free of searching. When I am not an object, I am Spirit. When I rest as the free and formless Witness, I am with God right now, in this timeless and endless moment. I taste infinity and am drenched with fullness, precisely because I no longer seek, but simply rest as what I am.

Before Abraham was, I am. Before the Big Bang was, I am. After the universe dissolves, I am. In all things great and small, I am. And yet I can never be heard, felt, known, or seen; I AM is the ever-present Seer.

Precisely because the ultimate reality is not anything seen but rather the Seer, it doesn’t matter in the least what is seen in any moment. Whether you see peace or turmoil, whether you see equanimity or agitation, whether you see bliss or terror, whether you see happiness or sadness, matters not at all: it is not those states but the Seer of those states that is already Free.

Changing states is thus beside the point; acknowledging the ever-present Seer is the point. Even in the midst of the Great Search and even in the worst of my self-contracting ways, I have immediate and direct access to the ever-present Witness. I do not have to try to bring this simple awareness into existence. I do not have to enter this state. It involves no effort at all. I simply notice that there is already an awareness of the sky. I simply notice that there is already an awareness of the clouds. I simply notice that the ever-present Witness is already fully functioning: it is not hard to reach but impossible to avoid. I am always already in the lap of this ever-present awareness, the radical Emptiness in which all manifestation is presently arising.

When I rest in the pure and simple Witness, I notice that this awareness is not an experience. It is aware of experiences, it is not itself an experience. Experiences come and go. They have a beginning in time, they stay a bit, and they pass. But they all arise in the simple opening or clearing that is the vast expanse of what I am. The clouds float by in this vast expanse, and thoughts float by in this vast expanse, and experiences float by in this vast expanse. They all come, and they all go. But the vast expanse itself, this Free and Empty Seer, this spacious opening or clearing in which all things arise, does not itself come and go, or even move at all.

 

Pic Android Jones

Pic Android Jones

 

Thus, when I rest in the pure and simple Witness, I am no longer caught up in the search for experiences, whether of the flesh or of the mind or of the spirit. Experiences—whether high or low, sacred or profane, joyous or nightmarish—simply come and go like endless waves on the ocean of what I am. As I rest in the pure and simple Witness, I am no longer moved to follow the bliss and the torture of experiential displays. Experiences float across my Original Face like clouds floating across the clear autumn sky, and there is room in me for all.

When I rest in the pure and simple Witness, I will even begin to notice that the Witness itself is not a separate thing or entity, set apart from what it witnesses. All things arise within the Witness, so much so that the Witness itself disappears into all things.

And thus, resting in simple, clear, ever-present awareness, I notice that there is no inside and no outside. There is no subject and no object. Things and events are still fully present and clearly arising—the clouds float by, the birds still sing, the cool breeze still blows—but there is no separate self recoiling from them. Events simply arise as they are, without the constant and agitated reference to a contracted self or subject. Events arise as they are, and they arise in the great freedom of not being defined by a little I looking at them. They arise with Spirit, as Spirit, in the opening or clearing that I am; they do not arise to be seen and perceptually tortured by an ego.

In my contracted mode, I am “in here,” on this side of my face, looking at the world “out there,” on the “objective” side. I exist on this side of my face, and my entire life is an attempt to save face, to save this self-contraction, to save this sensation of grasping and seeking, a sensation that sets me apart from the world out there, a world I will then desire or loathe, move toward or recoil from, grasp or avoid, love or hate. The inside and the outside are in perpetual struggle, all varieties of hope or fear: the drama of saving face.

We say, “To lose face is to die of embarrassment,” and that is deeply true: we do not want to lose face! We do not want to die! We do not want, to cease the sensation of the separate-self! But that primal fear of losing face is actually the root of our deepest agony, because saving face—saving an identity with the bodymind—is the very mechanism of suffering, the very mechanism of tearing the Kosmos into an inside versus an outside, a brutal fracture that I experience as pain.

But when I rest in simple, clear, ever-present awareness, I lose face. Inside and outside completely disappear. It happens just like this:

As I drop all objects–I am not this, not that–and I rest in the pure and simple Witness, all objects arise easily in my visual field, all objects arise in the space of the Witness. I am simply an opening or clearing in which all things arise. I notice that all things arise in me, arise in this opening or clearing that I am. The clouds are floating by in this vast opening that I am. The sun is shining in this vast opening that I am. The sky exists in this vast opening that I am; the sky is in me. I can taste the sky, it’s closer to me than my own skin. The clouds are on the inside of me; I am seeing them from within. When all things arise in me, I am simply all things. The universe is One Taste, and I am That.

And so, when I rest as the Witness, all things arise in me, so much so that I am all things. There is no subject and object because I do not see the clouds, I am the clouds. There is no subject and object because I do not feel the cool breeze, I am the cool breeze. There is no subject and object because I do not hear the thunder clapping, I am the thunder clapping.

I am no longer on this side of my face looking at the world out there; I simply am the world. I am not in here. I have lost face—and discovered my Original Face, the Kosmos itself. The bird sings, and I am that. The sun rises, and I am that. The moon shines, and I am that, in simple, ever-present awareness.

When I rest in simple, clear, ever-present awareness, every object is its own subject. Every event “sees itself,” as it were, because I am now that event seeing itself. I am not looking at the rainbow; I am the rainbow, which sees itself. I am not staring at the tree; I am the tree, which sees itself. The entire manifest world continues to arise, just as it is, except that all subjects and all objects have disappeared. The mountain is still the mountain, but it is not an object being looked at, and I am not a separate subject staring at it. Both I and the mountain arise in simple, ever-present awareness, and we are both set free in that clearing, we are both liberated in that nondual space, we are both enlightened in the opening that is ever-present awareness. That opening is free of the set-apart violence called subject and object, in here versus out there, self against other, me against the world. I have utterly lost face, and discovered God, in simple ever-present awareness.

When you are the Witness of all objects, and all objects arise in you, then you stand in utter Freedom, in the vast expanse of all space. In this simple One Taste, the wind does not blow on you, it blows within you. The sun does not shine on you, it radiates from deep within your very being. When it rains, you are weeping. You can drink the Pacific Ocean in a single gulp, and swallow the universe whole. Supernovas are born and die all within your heart, and galaxies swirl endlessly where you thought your head was, and it is all as simple as the sound of a robin singing on a crystal clear dawn.

Every time I recognize or acknowledge the ever-present Witness, I have broken the Great Search and undone the separate self. And that is the ultimate, secret, nondual practice, the practice of no-practice, the practice of simple acknowledgment, the practice of remembrance and recognition, founded timelessly and eternally on the fact that there is only Spirit, a Spirit that is not hard to find but impossible to avoid.

Spirit is the only thing that has never been absent. It is the only constant in your changing experience. You have known this for a billion years, literally. And you might as well acknowledge it. “If you understand this, then rest in that which understands, and just that is Spirit. If you do not understand this, then rest in that which does not understand, and just that is Spirit.” For eternally and eternally and always eternally, there is only Spirit, the Witness of this and every moment, even unto the ends of the world.

 

The Eye of Spirit

eye of spiritWhen I rest in simple, clear, ever-present awareness, I am resting in intrinsic Spirit; I am in fact nothing other than witnessing Spirit itself. I do not become Spirit; I simply recognize the Spirit that I always already am. When I rest in simple, clear, ever-present awareness, I am the Witness of the World. I am the eye of Spirit. I see the world as God sees it. I see the world as the Goddess sees it. I see the world as Spirit sees it: every object an object of Beauty, every thing and event a gesture of the Great Perfection, every process a ripple in the pond of my own eternal Being, so much so that I do not stand apart as a separate witness, but find the witness is one taste with all that arises within it. The entire Kosmos arises in the eye of Spirit, in the I of Spirit, in my own intrinsic awareness, this simple ever-present state, and I am simply that.

From the ground of simple, ever-present awareness, one’s entire bodymind will resurrect. When you rest in primordial awareness, that awareness begins to saturate your being, and from the stream of consciousness a new destiny is resurrected. When the Great Search is undone, and the separate-self sense has been crucified; when the continuity of witnessing has stabilized in your own case; when ever-present awareness is your constant ground—then your entire bodymind will regenerate, resurrect, and reorganize itself around intrinsic Spirit, and you will arise, as from the dead, to a new destiny and a new duty in consciousness.

You will cease to exist as separate self (with all the damage that does to the bodymind), and you will exist instead as vehicle of Spirit (with the bodymind now free to function in its highest potential, undistorted and untortured by the brutalities of the self-contraction). From the ground of ever-present awareness, you will arise embodying any of the enlightened qualities of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas—”one whose being (sattva) is ever-present awareness (bodhi).”

The Buddhist names are not important; the enlightened qualities they represent are. The point is simply that, once you have stably recognized simple, ever-present awareness-once the Great Search and the self-contraction have been robbed of separative life and returned to God, returned to their ground in ever-present awareness-then you will arise, from the ground of ever-present awareness, and you will embody any of the highest possibilities of that ground. You will be vehicle of the Spirit that you are. That ever-present ground will live through you, as you, in a variety of super-ordinary forms.

 

  • Perhaps you will arise as Samantabhadra, whose ever-present awareness takes the form of a vast equality consciousness: you will realize that the ever-present awareness that is fully present in you is the same awareness that is fully present in all sentient beings without exception, one and the same, single and only—one heart, one mind, one soul that breathes and beats and pulses through all sentient beings as such—and your very countenance will remind all beings of that simple fact, remind them that there is only Spirit, remind them that nothing is closer to God than anything else, for there is only God, there is only Goddess.

 

  • Perhaps you will arise as Avalokiteshvara, whose ever-present awareness takes the form of gentle compassion. In the brilliant clarity of ever-present awareness, all sentient beings arise as equal forms of intrinsic Spirit or pure Emptiness, and thus all beings are treated as the sons and daughters of the Spirit that they are. You will have no choice but to live this compassion with a delicate dedication, so that your very smile will warm the hearts of those who suffer, and they will look to you for promise that they, too, can be liberated into the vast expanse of their own primordial awareness, and you will never turn away.

 

  • Perhaps you will arise as Prajnaparamita, the mother of the Buddha whose ever-present awareness takes the form of a vast spaciousness, the womb of the great Unborn, in which the entire Kosmos exists. For deepest truth, it is exactly from the ground of your own simple, clear, ever-present awareness that all beings are born; and it is to the ground of your simple, clear, ever-present awareness that all beings will return. Resting in the brilliant clarity of ever-present awareness, you watch the worlds arise, and all the Buddhas arise, and all sentient beings as such arise. And to you they will all return. And you will smile, and receive, in this vast expanse of everlasting wisdom, and it will all begin again, and yet again, and always yet again, in the womb of your ever-present state.

 

  • Perhaps you will arise as Manjushri, whose ever-present awareness, takes the form of luminous intelligence. Although all beings are equally intrinsic Spirit, some beings do not easily acknowledge this ever-present Suchness, and thus discriminating wisdom will brilliantly arise from the ground of equality consciousness. You will instinctively see what is true and what is false, and thus you will bring clarity to everything you touch. And if the self-contraction does not listen to your gentler voice, your ever-present awareness will manifest in its wrathful form, which is said to be none other than the dreaded Yamantaka, Subduer of the Lord of Death.

 

  • And so perhaps you will arise as Yamantaka, fierce protector of ever-present awareness and samurai warrior of intrinsic Spirit. Precisely those items that pretend to block ever-present awareness must be quickly cut through, which is why ever-present awareness arises in its many wrathful forms. You will simply be moved, from the ground of equality consciousness, to expose the false and the shallow and the less-than-ever-present. It is time for the sword, not the smile, but always the sword of discriminating wisdom, which ruthlessly cuts all obstacles in the ground of the all-encompassing.

 

  • Perhaps you will arise as Bhaishajyaguru, whose ever-present awareness takes the form of a healing radiance. From the brilliant clarity of ever-present awareness, you will be moved to remind the sick and the sad and those in pain that although the pain is real, it is not what they are. With a simple touch or smile, contracted souls will relax into the infinite vast expanse of intrinsic awareness, and disease will lose all meaning in the radiance of that release. And you will never tire, for ever-present awareness is effortless in its functioning, and so you will constantly remind all beings of who and what they really are, on the other side of fear, in the radical love and unflinching acceptance that is the mirror-mind of ever-present awareness.

 

  • Perhaps you will arise as Maitreya, whose ever-present awareness takes the form of a promise that, even into the endless future, ever-present awareness will still be simply present. From the brilliant clarity of primordial awareness, you will vow to be with all beings, even unto an eternity of futures, because even those futures will arise in simple present awareness, the same present awareness that now sees just exactly this.

 

Those are simply a few of the potentials of ever-present awareness. The Buddhist names don’t matter; any will do. They are simply a few of the forms of your own resurrection. They are a few of the possibilities that might animate you after the death of the Great Search. They are a few of the ways the world looks to the ever-present eye of Spirit, the ever-present I of Spirit. They are what you see, right now, when you see the world as God sees it, from the groundless ground of simple ever-present awareness.

 

And It Is All Undone

Perhaps you will arise as any or all of those forms of ever-present awareness. But then, it doesn’t really matter. When you rest in the brilliant clarity of ever-present awareness, you are not Buddha or Bodhisattva, you are not this or that, you are not here or there. When you rest in simple, ever-present awareness, you are the great Unborn, free, of all qualities whatsoever. Aware of color, you are colorless. Aware of time, you are timeless. Aware of form, you are formless. In the vast expanse of primordial Emptiness, you are forever invisible to this world.

It is simply that, as embodied being, you also arise in the world of form that is your own manifestation. And the intrinsic potentials of the enlightened mind (the intrinsic potentials of your ever-present awareness)—such as equanimity, discriminating wisdom, mirrorlike wisdom, ground consciousness, and all-accomplishing awareness—various of these potentials combine with the native dispositions and particular talents of your own individual bodymind. And thus, when the separate self dies into the vast expanse of its own ever-present awareness, you will arise animated by any or all of those various enlightened potentials. You are then motivated, not by the Great Search, but by the Great Compassion of these potentials, some of which are gentle, some of which are truly wrathful, but all of which are simply the possibilities of your own ever-present state.

And thus, resting in simple, clear, ever-present awareness, you will arise with the qualities and’ virtues of your own highest potentials—perhaps compassion, perhaps discriminating wisdom, perhaps cognitive insight, perhaps healing presence, perhaps wrathful reminder, perhaps artistic accomplishment, perhaps athletic skill, perhaps great educator, or perhaps something utterly simple, maybe being the best flower gardener on the block. (In other words, any of the developmental lines released into their own primordial state.) When the bodymind is released from the brutalities inflicted by the self-contraction, it naturally gravitates to its own highest estate, manifested in the great potentials of the enlightened mind, the great potentials of simple, ever-present awareness.

Thus, as you rest in simple, ever-present awareness, you are the great Unborn; but as you are born—as you arise from ever-present awareness—you will manifest certain qualities, qualities inherent in intrinsic Spirit, and qualities colored by the dispositions of your own bodymind and its particular talents.

And whatever the form of your own resurrection, you will arise driven not by the Great Search, but by your own Great Duty, your limitless Dharma, the manifestation of your own highest potentials, and the world will begin to change, because of you. And you will never flinch, and you will never fail in that great Duty, and you will never turn away, because simple, ever-present awareness will be with you now and forever, even unto the ends of the worlds, because now and forever and endlessly forever, there is only Spirit, only intrinsic awareness, only the simple awareness of just this, and nothing more.

But that entire journey to what is begins at the beginningless beginning: we begin by simply recognizing that which is always already the case. (“If you understand this, then rest in that which understands, and just that is exactly Spirit. If you do not understand this, then rest in that which does not understand, and just that is exactly Spirit.”) We allow this recognition of ever-present awareness to arise—gently, randomly, spontaneously, through the day and into the night. This simple, ever-present awareness is not hard to attain but impossible to avoid, and we simply notice that.

We do this gently, randomly, and spontaneously, through the day and into the night. Soon enough, through all three states of waking, dreaming, and sleeping, this recognition will grow of its own accord and by its own intrinsic power, outshining the obstacles that pretend to hide its nature, until this simple, ever-present awareness announces itself in an unbroken continuity through all changes of state, through all changes of space and time, whereupon space and time lose all meaning whatsoever, exposed for what they are, the shining veils of the radiant Emptiness that you alone now are—and you will swoon into that Beauty, and die into that Truth, and dissolve into that Goodness, and there will be no one left to testify to terror, no one left to take tears seriously, no one left to engineer unease, no one left to deny the Divine, which only alone is, and only alone ever was, and only alone will ever be.

And somewhere on a cold crystal night the moon will shine on a silently waiting Earth, just to remind those left behind that it is all a game. The lunar light will set dreams afire in their sleeping hearts, and a yearning to awaken will stir in the depths of that restless night, and you will be pulled, yet again, to respond to those most plaintive prayers, and you will find yourself right here, right now, wondering what it all really means—until that flash of recognition runs across your face and it is all undone. You then will arise as the moon itself, and sing those dreams in your very own heart; and you will arise as the Earth itself, and glorify all of its blessed inhabitants; and you will arise as the Sun itself, radiant to infinity and much too obvious to see; and in that One Taste of primordial purity, with no beginning and no end, with no entrance and no exit, with no birth and no death, it all comes radically to be; and the sound of a singing waterfall, somewhere in the distance, is all that is left to tell this tale, late on that crystal cold night, bathed so beautifully in that lunar light, just so, and again, just so.

When the great Zen master Fa-ch’ang was dying, a squirrel screeched out on the roof. “It’s just this,” he said, “and nothing more.”

 

///

 

Wilber

Ken Wilber is the founder of Integral Institute and the co-founder of Integral Life.

He is an internationally acknowledged leader and the preeminent scholar of the Integral stage of human development. His many books, all of which are still in print, can be found at Amazon.com.

Some of his more popular books include Integral Spirituality; No Boundary; Grace and Grit; Sex, Ecology, Spirituality; and the “everything” books: A Brief History of Everything (one of his largest selling books) and A Theory of Everything (probably the shortest introduction to his work).

Sat·Chit·Ananda – Chuck Surface

 Divider

 

When I speak of Bliss, I point to an Experience of Being in which…
The Ecstasy of Pure Being shines into conscious awareness;
Transcendence is shining into and as immanence;
The duality of Formless and Form, vanished;
Not simply “peace”, or “happiness”;
Shiva and Shakti, embracing;
The Heart’s Desire;
Heaven;
Love

 

 

Advaita, as I encountered it during my sadhana in America, only rarely mentions Bliss; often only in precautionary terms in the context of sadhana, and usually only fleetingly, if at all, when describing the Liberated experience of being. I am familiar with the advaitic pedagogical model, and understand that advaita teachers don’t want their students to become attached to transient “states” or “objects” of perception, but rather to feel themselves as That within which all objects, sensations, perceptions, and states arise and vanish. Thus, for advaita students, “Bliss” is often portrayed as a dangerous trap, something to be dismissed (neti neti) as transient, ephemeral, “unreal”, and not to be confused with the unmoving, changeless Absolute, the experience of which is generally described with words like Peace, Happiness, and Joy.

The lack of descriptions of Bliss in the post-Liberation experience of advaitic realization is probably due to the notion that once one is Free, one will know for one’s self the nature of that condition, and therefore there’s no need to elevate what they see as dangerous and alluring “distractions” for those still seeking. Thus, there is rarely a fleeting mention of Bliss; and generally… Ecstasy is right out.

All of that being the case, my experience when I saw my advaita teacher, Jean Klein, was filled with Bliss; a palpable, visceral, extremely pleasurable yet unlocatable Ecstasy that both permeated and was inseparable from the entire Experience of Being. It was, for lack of any better term in relativity, a feeling of Orgasmic Ecstasy that, being “everywhere, yet nowhere”, transcended physicality or any of the other vast and varied aspects of manifest form, and yet… everything existed both “in” and “as” it. For me, the impact of residing in and as the Silence that Jean spoke of was the flooding of the Experience of Being with this Blissfulness I’m struggling to describe. But any mention of this would have been blasphemous, such things being “not spoken of.”

Jean KleinMore than all of his words, more than my clarity of understanding… something about being in proximity to Jean’s physical-energetic locus had this profound effect on me. Many advaitans go off the deep end if you mention such “phenomenality”. But this was my experience. The most “profound” teaching I received, the Transmission of the Flame, was wordless, and had everything to do with my Mystical relationship to this man, and yes… to association and even proximity; though merely the thought of him would give rise to the welling up of Bliss.

Bliss was, for me, unmistakably, a touch of nirvikalpa samadhi (the experience is described below), of formless Pure Being, Shining into manifest experience; water from that Ocean, warmth from that Sun, the Fragrance of what the Sufis call The Beloved, the Ananda of Sat·chit·ananda. How can formlessness possibly Shine into form? Volumes of words would fail to communicate what can only be known in Experience. As Jean would often say, “Now we will talk about that which cannot be talked about.” We talked… but it was not the words which conveyed That which was being spoken of, the Flame in his Heart igniting the ember in mine. Sounds quite dualistic, doesn’t it? However dualistic it may sound, I assure you it was not. This is the Ineffable nature of “true” Guru Yoga.

I already knew not to grasp after this Bliss, seeking to sustain and hold it as a “pleasurable experience”. I had been given this Great Teaching, paradoxically, by Bliss itself. For Bliss only arose when the acute “outer” focus of Attention relaxed “inward”, dissolving into its Oceanic nature as Unlocatable Aliveness. Then Attention, in that instant of inward-turning, was greeted by effortlessly arising Bliss. Shakti (manifestation) fell into the arms of Shiva (formless Pure Being), and the Ecstasy of their embrace became an inherent aspect of the Experience of Being, like wetness to water, or heat to fire. I did not see the inward turning and the upwelling of Bliss as cause and effect – a stance that put me somewhat at odds with Jean’s pedagogical stance – but rather as inherent aspects of Dissolution. For if Dissolution became Absolute, this “alloyed” Bliss would become the Unalloyed Ecstasy of nirvikalpa; the direct experience of formless Pure Being. If Attention grasped after the somatic “experience” of Blissfulness, as it reflexively did, early on… the movement into Dissolution ceased, and Bliss vanished.

My experience is that Bliss is the very fragrance of Pure Being (Consciousness, Awareness, whatever one calls the Unlocatable Aliveness that we are, prior to manifestation). Prior to Liberation, it was the fragrance that drew me to The Beloved, that taught me the “secret” of non-grasping, and abiding as Unlocatable Aliveness. It is the embrace of Shiva and Shakti in union as Shiva-Shakti, a union in which both vanish, all duality vanishes, even, quite impossibly, in the midst of duality.

 

Here’s the story of my first meeting with Jean Klein.

In November of ‘81, using feeling inquiry (before I knew what advaitic inquiry was), “I” died in Nirvikalpa Samadhi.

chuck_surface

No space in which objects could arise
(including the “object” of myself as the perceiver).

No time allowing objects to be perceived or cognized.

The vanishing of… everything.

Everything.

Gone.

And yet…

The Unalloyed Ecstasy of Pure Being.

 

Even to say that Consciousness was aware of Itself is not wholly accurate, for there was no “perceiver/subject” Consciousness aware of a “perceived/object” Consciousness. Perhaps you could say there was Perceiving without a perceiver, Being without a Be’er… but let’s not wander any further into the jungle of words, concepts, and pointers.

Alas, when space, time, and manifestation arose again from Pure Being, when Shiva moved as Shakti, “I” (self-identity, Chuck-I) arose with it, a contraction, and the suffering of identification with the body-mind and all that entails. In the end, nirvikalpa samadhi proved only informative. It informed me of my nature prior to the arising of… everything, including “me”. For although “I” as a separate object did not exist in Pure Being… I was what remained when everything vanished. In nirvikalpa samadhi, “I” was not “that which is alive”, but rather, “Life itself.” I remember seeing, as manifestation eventually returned within Emptiness, that it was the most obvious thing in the world that I was neither this or that, but that I simply… Was. I was Not an object or a thing, not the aggragates of thought, feeling, and emotion that I had always taken myself to be. The last words uttered by the mind before all things vanished was a startled recognition and exclamation – not merely mental, but with the Whole Being — “I… just… Am!” Poof!

As an inevitable consequence of Chuck-“I” returning, the experience of Pure Being almost instantly became a memory, a concept. Except… now I Knew that self-identified Chuck existed both in and as Pure Being in Manifestation. This was now irrefutable. But as life-changing as this trans-intellectual understanding was, it did not stop the contraction and suffering of self-identity. I had emerged from Pure Being only more “informed” than I had been prior.

 

Except for one thing…

 

The next day, while driving, I “remembered” what had happened. And before the mind could utter a word as part of this remembering, before mental constructs arose, in a timeless instant, my Heart exploded in Ecstasy. This Bliss was immediately recognizable as the taste, the fragrance of Pure Being, and gave rise to a sense of the same Fullness and Completion I had become in samadhi, only now modified by it’s arising in space, time, and form. This Bliss was somehow both in form, and beyond. For while the physical and energetic bodies were washed over in Bliss, the mind, cognition, and the world, all began to dissolve back, back into Ecstasy. It was as if samadhi was pulling on my attention, trying to dissolve me once again into itself. The Radiance of Pure Being was shining through into manifestation. The boundary had been destroyed. But… because of the contraction of self-identity, this experience became just that, an “experience”, with an experiencer, immediately qualified and conditioned by the mind, by Chuck-I. But the fragrance was undeniable, arising from a bodily location near my physical Heart. The rapture was so overwhelming and my mind so dissolute and intoxicated that I nearly pulled the car over.

From that day forward, although my mind might be focused on a task at work, “behind” all movement, all activity, this Blissfulness was ever present, always ebbing and flowing to some extent, always moving like the waters of a deep Ocean; sometimes a soft ambience, other times a powerful flood, swallowing all mentation and sense of externality, pulling attention out of space and time, back, back, into the Ocean of Being. When I paused outer activity, and “fell back in relaxed alertness”, so to speak… I would be overwhelmed with breathtaking Bliss, and the acuity of perception and cognition would dissolve into Stillness. Although I never again experienced samadhi, I was thereafter “wet” with the water of that Ocean, always fragrant with the perfume of the Timeless, always warmed by that “apparently” distant Fire. But still, in the midst of all of this, self-identity persisted.

It would also happen that I might be sitting, watching television — often the most inane show you could imagine — and suddenly the entire Field of perception would dissolve in the most exquisitely beautiful translucent light, as if everything had became molten. All objects dissolved into each other, and then the mind would follow, and my sense of being a locatable object in space and time, and I would feel a dissolving, a pulling, back, back into Timeless Presence.

 

Always, enjoying the Perfume of the Beloved,
Even with eyes open, here, in the world of form.
Even with Attention moving, here and there,
In “mundane” activity.

The Ordinary, Extraordinary.
The Extraordinary… Ordinary.

We are always, ever, Touching,
And I am always intoxicated by the unseen allure
Of the Absolute Death into Ecstasy that She is.

When Attention rests, She is there,
Tugging at my Heart,
Always whispering,
Always touching,
Turning my face to Hers.

Here in the world of form,
She exists in me, as me.
Here in Pure Being,
Neither She, I, nor “we”
Have ever existed.

 

I did not take this Radiance, ever, to be “shakti”, or “kundalini”, or any such thing. Such terms seemed profane to me. For this Beautiful Radiance was not a ”thing”, not an object of enjoyment. I Knew from samadhi that it was simply the Radiance of Pure Being, somehow, magically, wonderfully, impossibly, shining into this world of form, into and as myself; always present, always available to be remembered or be remembered by, in a timeless instant. As Jean said, we begin soliciting that which we long for, but soon find ourselves being solicited, as well. It was a dance of the Unmanifest in Manifestation, Shiva dancing with, and as, this Radiance.

But again, all of that lofty verbiage aside, all Bliss aside, all Ecstasy aside, all Pure Being aside, aspects of my manifest form, within the Aliveness that I am, remained in the horrible contraction and suffering of self-identity.

Jean Klein BookI had read Jean’s book, Neither This Nor That, I Am!, and found in it a mirror of the enquiry that had led me to samadhi; a “feeling” enquiry, not a thinking enquiry. One day in 1983, two years after samadhi, a friend told me that Jean would be giving a satsang in LA, and I was very much inspired to see him. It would be my first time seeing an advaita teacher. My friend, widely read and much more experienced than I in the nature of the various spiritual paths, stressed that there would be none of this gold light business, no discussion of phenomenon or experience, almost certainly no talk of Bliss, and forget samadhi (which advaita often deemed “a mere sweet”, and a dangerous one at that). He warned that with these things so much a part of my experience of being, I might find advaita somewhat mental and dry.

I found a seat at Jean’s satsang and, waiting for him to arrive, noted that the Radiance of my Heart was welling up with uncommon intensity, even before he arrived. Jean arrived; a small, older, somewhat frail man. He sat in silence for quite some time. And as I sat there, I was taken by a veritable tsunami of Ecstasy. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t move; I was in rapture. I felt my Heart would explode in Ecstasy. And because I kept my eyes open as we sat there, everything in my field of vision vanished completely in that exquisite, translucent illumination that I’d become so familiar with. Mind and cognition dissolved into Ecstasy, too intoxicated to function. I could see only one thing in this field of light in which everything else had dissolved: Jean, sitting in Silence. But all around him, nothing but blinding luminous Radiance.

Eventually, Jean spoke briefly about advaita, then asked for questions. After listening to a few questions and answers, I could no longer hold the frustration that had become the heart of my sadhana. I raised my hand and was recognized by Jean. Expressing frustration and despair, not intending to sound rude or hostile, but unable to help myself, I said, “So, we’re just supposed to inquire in this manner, and keep inquiring, and keep inquiring, and keep inquiring, and keep inquiring, and keep inquiring, until one day, maybe, maybe — but don’t count on it, because only a handful ever attain the goal — maybe one day Grace will fall on us?!” He sat for a moment… and then, turning to face me more directly, leaned quite forward in his chair, and held his right arm out, low by his knees. He then brought his arm up quickly, in a shot, saying as he did so, “It’s in the instant before (emphasized) the upsurge!” He held his arm in that higher position for some time, looking directly at me, and then, very slowly, sat back, saying, “In time, the Lover and the Beloved will become one.” And then, leaning forward again and pointing emphatically, he said, assertively, “Count on it!”

The upsurge? The upsurge?! How did he know?! This was an advaitin, not some siddhi-imbued mystic dealing with phenomenality. How could he know?! We’d never met before. And advaitins didn’t talk about “the upsurge”, or so I’d been told. But Jean knew, having never met me before in this life!

In the years that followed, he clarified further that according to the advaitic view that he held and taught, this Bliss that had become an inherent aspect of my experience of being was an “effect”, not the cause. And I, too, held that view for quite some time, for it was true that Bliss arose in the instant of remembering, the instant before its explosion in my Heart, when Attention ceased all “outer” focus, and relaxed back, fell back into Itself, so to speak.

 

abhinavagupta

 

As time passed, however, even while still seeing Jean, I found myself uneasy with the advaitic stance. For in my experience, over time, I came to see the arising of Bliss not simply as an “effect” of inward turning, but rather as inherent in, and inseparable from, the inward turning of Attention, just as Unalloyed Ecstasy is inherent in nirvikalpa samadhi, in which there are no causes and effects. In my experience – which, granted, is not akin to that of most of my advaitan friends – Bliss was to inward turning as heat is to fire, wetness to water, or glistening to gold. The 13th Century saint, Jnaneshwar, speaks to this stance so beautifully (see The Advaitic Trap). This seemingly subtle difference in relationship to formlessness (Shiva) and form (Shakti), the unmanifest and manifest, is far more profound than meets the eye. It points to the differing stances of advaita and Kashmir Shaivism, with which my Heart came to more fully resonate.

In any case, it didn’t matter. I simply Loved Jean, and went to see him whenever I could, for the most blasphemously unadvaitic reasons.

Jean’s teachings were not purely advaitic, and his stature is diminished in the eyes of certain orthodox advaitans. He had been influenced at some point by Kashmir Shaivism, and aspects of that tradition were mixed into his stance and teachings; a stew that also included certain aspects of orthodox advaita. For example, Jean’s saying that satsang and all that it entailed – all of the questions, answers, and dialog – was merely a pretext for sitting together in Silence – my God… this was seen as blasphemous guru yoga by many staunch advaitans. But as I’ve stated, this was at the very Heart of our relationship; all else was indeed a pretext. Jean also expressed the Kashmir Shaivite stance somewhat in his unique style of yoga which. again, more orthodox advaitans no doubt considered blasphemous.

From that first meeting with Jean, until his death, I saw him whenever I could. Our relationship, outwardly, adhered to the advaitic protocol; but inwardly, existed more as one would expect of Kashmir Shaivism. I never mentioned Bliss, or the translucent Radiance that filled the room when we were together. Mentioning such things would have gotten me a chiding from Jean. And so, I was both in disagreement with aspects of his advaitic stance, and in absolute agreement and affinity with the nature of our Mystical inner relationship. I continued seeing him not because of his advaitic teaching, but because of the Experience that arose Mystically in his presence; the direct experience of “That” which was being discussed in words; an experience in which the experiencer vanished, and the Unalloyed Ecstasy of nirvikalpa shone, alloyed, into the experience of manifest Being.

He never once, in all those years, directly answered a question I would ask — a question that had arisen in the immediate context of the satsang. Never once in all those years. He always, instead, answered the more secret, private questions that had been arising in my Heart and mind in the days or weeks prior to seeing him; questions around the relationship of Heart-Bliss to Pure Being, and around why, why, why, I remained self-identified. And while my advaitan friends will poo-poo my mentioning it… every time I saw Jean, there was the phenomenon of that radiant, translucent light, and dissolution in Bliss. Proximity to his physical form always gave rise to an intensification of Dissolution.

 

 

I’m a sad excuse for an advaitan.

The entire time I saw my teacher, Jean,
I went not to gain “understanding”,
Or to follow, yet again, the tired “advaitic thread”.

I went to bathe in the Radiance
That emanated from that form.
Yes… from that form.

A shameless dualist?
Not so.

For somehow, impossibly,
Formlessness shone from that form,
And dissolved all that it touched, back into Itself,

Including “me”.

Before he even entered the room,
The world dissolved… “I” dissolved,
And all questions vanished.

A shameless “experience” junkie?
Not so.

For the experience,
Was of the experiencer vanishing,
Into That which was being discussed.

Not in concepts,
Thoughts,
Words.

The words were a pretext.
The questions a pretext.
The answers a pretext,
For our simply sitting together, bathing in…

Seeing Jean caused the Sun of my Heart to shine more brightly.
And dipped the salt doll of my “self” once again into the Ocean.
From which emerged, eventually…
Only a handful of Ocean.

It did not happen through knowledge,
Or understanding,
Or seeing clearly,
Or grasping anything.

It happened through Grace.
The emanation of Shiva in and as Shakti.
Dissolving the contraction of self-identity,
In Sat·Chit·Ananda.

Only then, looking back,
Did I Understand all that I had heard,
In word, concept, and metaphor,
And knowledge became Knowledge.

But make no mistake…

I went for the translucent Light that filled the room,
And my Entire Being.
Shameless, I know.

I went for the dissipation of endless mentation,
Into Serenity and Peace.
Shameful, I know.

I went for the dissolution of acute Attention,
Into Unlocatable Aliveness.
How could I?!

I went for the Bliss of Pure Being,
Pouring into manifestation,
Overflowing the Wellspring of my Heart,
From that gentle, frail form… Myself.

Ponder this great mystery, my nondual friends.
For this benediction happened in physical proximity to,
In thoughtful remembrance of,
In heartfelt relationship with,
That gentle, frail form… Myself.

That’s right… form.

For truly… truly,
Form is Formlessness,
Formlessness is Form.
Shiva is Shakti,
Nirvana and samsara are One.

Those are not empty platitudes,
But the Living Teaching I received,
From Formlessness,
In and as that gentle, frail Form…

Myself.

I’m a sad excuse for an advaitan.

 

Throughout all those years of satsang and reading and inquiry, however, no amount of bliss, no amount of mental clarity, no amount of remembering the source of Bliss, no amount of feeling myself as That within which all arises, no amount of feeling myself “behind”, no amount of resting in relaxed alertness brought about the cessation of the contraction of self-identity, of Chuck-I. Until… twenty years after meeting Jean, and some time after his passing, I sat up in bed one day and realized, in the most uneventful way, as if recognizing “after the fact” something that had already been the case but had somehow gone unnoticed, that I could not feel “myself” anymore.

The Ancient Contraction was gone. The Great Suffering was gone. “I” was gone. I did not feel myself expanded as all that existed, nor did I feel myself as “That” within which all arose, I did not feel myself… at all. There was simply… This; the Experience of Being. I was no longer That which was alive, but rather, Life Itself, but now with eyes open, not vanished in samadhi. There was no longer any sense of interior or exterior; no inner subject perceiver perceiving exterior objects. Space and time became purely notional, for everything was simply Present, All At Once, with no felt sense of distance or proximity in relation to That within which and as which it all arose. For “i” had ceased to exist, and only Unlocatable Aliveness remained. I did not even sense a “Now” in which Existence Was. There was simply… This. Only in mentation do such additional “concepts” as space, time, and objects arise.

After this “Liberation” from the Great Suffering, and for nearly two years following, the Bliss that had been an effortless aspect of the Experience of Being since samadhi, lost its sense of locatability in the Locus of The Heart and seemingly dispersed everywhere, into everything; a soft, gentle, ever-present ambience. I lived those years in Serene Emptiness; an Emptiness which, although it sounds impossible, grew deeper and deeper, in time becoming almost too much to bear. For more on this period, see The Vanishing of Doubt.

At the end of the second year, Ananda rolled like a tide back into the locus of the Heart, overflowed, and… to my bewilderment and delight, was noticed by certain friends, who began telling me that in simple conversation, and especially while meditating together, they felt themselves dissolving into Silence; Dissolution, Peace, and yes, Blissfulness washing over them. And in time, unexpectedly and to my great delight, through simple Friendship, contemplation, and meditation, certain of them came to the effortlessly ever-present experience of Dissolution and Bliss.

I share, in words, all that I have learned in direct experience. For I know that intellectual clarity is important as we wander from the village of the “known” until one day… upon a path grown pathless, Heart and Mind, Heaven and Earth, vanish like a mist into and as the Great Mystery.

But make no mistake… as Jean said, it is the Radiance of Formlessness Illumining Form, overflowing from the Wellspring of The Heart, that “magically” Heals, Blesses, Illumines, and Liberates, from the so-called inside, out. All else is a pretext.

 

Far from the village,
Road vanished into path,
Path vanished into hillside,
Hillside vanished into Vastness,
The Known vanished into Wonder.

 

Gergely Gizella

Painting: Gergely Gizella

 

I don’t consider myself “enlightened” or “awakened”. I leave those lofty terms, and the implied finality and unfortunate elevation of stature that they inevitably invoke, to those who feel themselves worthy of their use. My Experience has shown me that it’s unwise at best, and delusional at worst, to ever plant a flag and declare the summit. While there have been profound milestones along The Way, in my experience there is no finality whatsoever to…

Endless Enlightening

 

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Song of the Soul – Shankaracharya [Poetical Writings]

I am neither ego nor reason, I am neither mind nor thought,
I cannot be heard nor cast into words, nor by smell nor sight ever caught:
In light and wind I am not found, nor yet in earth and sky -
Consciousness and joy incarnate, Bliss of the Blissful am I.

I have no name, I have no life, I breathe no vital air,
No elements have molded me, no bodily sheath is my lair:

I have no name, I have no life, I breathe no vital air,
No elements have molded me, no bodily sheath is my lair:
I have no speech, no hands and feet, nor means of evolution -
Consciousness and joy am I, and Bliss in dissolution.

I cast aside hatred and passion, I conquered delusion and greed;
No touch of pride caressed me, so envy never did breed:
Beyond all faiths, past reach of wealth, past freedom, past desire
Consciousness and joy am I, and Bliss is my attire.

Virtue and vice, or pleasure and pain are not my heritage,
Nor sacred texts, nor offerings, nor prayer, nor pilgrimage:
I am neither food nor eating, nor yet the eater am I -
Consciousness and joy incarnate, Bliss of the Blissful am I.

I have no misgivings of death, no chasms of race divide me,
No parent ever called me child, no bond of birth ever tied me:
I am neither disciple nor master, I have no kin, no friend -
Consciousness and joy am I, and merging in Bliss is my end.

Neither knowable, knowledge, nor knower am I, formless is my form,
I dwell within the senses but they are not my home:
Ever serenely balanced, I am neither free nor bound -
Consciousness and joy am I, and Bliss is where I am found.

 

Adi Shankara

Adi_Shankara

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